The PreparationTime

You never find yourself until you face the truth. -Pearl Bailey

I know that there is purpose behind everything the good Father orchestrates and the timing is always significant. I can't imagine that any of the things currently at work in my life being any sort of coincidence.

My spirit has been restless most of this semester as I plan to leave the place that has been home for four years. My heart aches because of the severing that is required at graduation; I am being cut off from healthy community and relationships, and without secure plans for the next phase of my life, I am fearful of leaving this place of goodness and comfort. It is here that I have been shaped; I have matured and have gained a broader lens through which I see the world. I have been forced to use my mind in ways that I never have before. I guess that is what college is supposed to do for one, but I'm talking about beyond the classroom interactions that have challenged every part of my being. My relationships here have been most difficult, but in four years they have gone deeper than many lifetime friendships I see elsewhere. And it has been a result of the painfulness endured together. Through pain we have dug deep within each others' lives and our hearts have connected in ways that words cannot describe. I am so thankful to be able to grow alongside these people. I will take them with me, too. Physically we will be apart, but as my dear friend Janet once said, "People are brought into our lives for reasons, and when friends and believers are brought together... their hearts and hands will always be connected." I have been distressed about physically leaving these people the past three months, but something strange is at work within me now. As May 1st gets closer, I find myself attaining contentment. My spirit is in the process of anticipating that something is next for me and for them. I don't know what that something is, but I trust that we will be taken care of in the ways we have been here. And I trust that goodness will be found there, too.

My family is presently in a lot of pain. For those of you who are in open communication with any of my immediate family members, you know that my family is struggling. We are being torn apart by the selfish Will which continually reins and takes precedence over a Holy, Perfect Will. On one hand, we have no control over the circumstances that fall upon us; on the other, we move our lives in the direction of our choice, and that is typically in one that feeds the idolatry of ourselves. And as long as we continue to live and act out of our selfishness, then we will continue to hurt one another. Lucky for us, we have One who has a greater Plan, and despite the damage we cause amongst ourselves, this One is redeeming and remolding us. We are being made into a better, more beautiful creation. Grace. We've been shown so much grace, and I desire to bask in the knowledge that although I will continue to make an idol out of my own selfish desires, there is a greater Plan that is at work among and within me.

These significant things at work just a little over a month away from my trip to Djibouti. I can't help but wonder how I will get to use what I'm learning in Djibouti. I can't help but wonder how all the individual lessons tied into these significant events will be continued over there. 38 days. I'll be there so soon.


Oh, and logistics update: I bought my plane ticket a week and a half ago and I am indeed flying out of Detroit on 24 May and returning 1 August. And I have been in contact with our friends in Djibouti, Tom and Rachel, and we are working on setting up things for Emily and I to do there this summer. Per request of Rachel, I think I will be teaching a small group of Somali women some of the basic EMT skills that I learned last semester. I laugh every time I envision myself teaching Somali women the Heimlich maneuver. That will be an interesting addition to my resume'. Also, I am right around 50% support-wise. Thank you SO much for your contributions and for the notes attached. A small, handwritten note makes me feel connected to you, and it's your words that I look most forward to when I open the envelope. You are encouraging my heart, and I get a little more excited about the trip with every note that I read. So thank you, friends!

The Beginning

Wow, I cannot believe that it is March! The clock I received at our Senior Party with a countdown to graduation sits on my bedside table, and I have kept a close eye on it the last 50 days or so. Upon returning to my apartment after Spring Break, I was surprised to see a number below 60 - in less than two months I will graduate from college. Unbelievable. I am so excited to finish but I am undeniably going to miss many people who will either remain here in Cedarville or move on in a different direction than me. AND, as you readers know, just a few weeks after graduation I will begin my trek to the African continent! I'm getting very excited.

Finally getting my support letters out has provoked excitement; my plans for Djibouti are actualizing, making them suddenly feel more official. I am also quite excited about this blog. I haven't exactly blogged for an audience before, so it'll be an interesting experience knowing that I've welcomed and given many others access to my thoughts. I hope this is a helpful tool in keeping you all up-to-date on my journey surrounding Djibouti.

For those who have not been able to converse with me about this internship, I thought it might be helpful and fair for me to type out some answers to questions that others have asked me. First of all, my interest in this country is, of course, it's location and population. I went to Jordan two summers ago and it was there that I first developed an interest in the Arab culture and in Islam as a whole. I grew up near Dearborn, Michigan and attended a high school with people from many different cultural backgrounds. I LOVED discussing different cultural and religious traditions with these friends of mine. And then at Cedarville University I have chosen a major in International Studies where I've furthered my education in these things. So I guess you could say that I have been intentional about learning from people of cultures and religions different than my own. My first overseas experience was in the Middle East among Muslims, and I found their way of life extremely intriguing. After that experience I thought that I could see myself pursuing more work among Muslim women and children in the future. I have been wanting to go to Africa, so I have only looked into African countries for my internship. Mostly, I desired to go to a Muslim African country and Djibouti is one of those countries. It is also one of the only countries in Africa that I have indirect connections. Thus, Djibouti!

I have also been asked about my fears and aspirations for this summer. I think my biggest fear at this point is actually related to the airports. I hate navigating through American airports and especially international ones. I feel so lost and anxious as I walk through them trying to get to my gate on time while making sure my bags are in the right place and I have done all that needs to be done before I depart. Add to my already anxiousness the international element and I am way intimidated. I hope Emily (the other student who will be interning with me in Djibouti) is more confident in airport navigation! I am also fearful of the heat. It is supposed to be near 130-degrees the entire time I am there. I assume that my body will adjust, but until then.... ahhh! I aspire to learn the culture well and adjust to it; I hope my cultural blunders are learning experiences. I aspire to be challenged by Djiboutians' way of life and be forced out of my comfort zone. I just hope that I will remain open to receiving from the people and the country.

If you have any other questions, I'd love to answer them. Don't hesitate to shoot me an email or leave a comment here with questions or thoughts. I look forward to interacting with you as I continue to prepare for this summer internship. Thank you for your desire to journey through this with me. I think this is going to be a great experience!